The Romance of Chastisement

The Romance of Chastisement

Monday, July 29, 2013

Becky's Last Chance by Constance Masters (Writing the spanking scene--part 5)

I was going to talk about point of view in spanking scenes and I'll lead this one off with a very good example by Constance Masters. This is from the eBook Becky's Last Chance which is about a love affair between a young spoiled brat and Ryan, a slightly older and more responsible guy who has always cared for Becky but now finds himself tasked by Becky's father with looking out for her when he is away.

The Amazon link is HERE

So in this one, the POV is nearly all Becky's. We see what she sees, we feel her emotions, and we share her thoughts. In the first part of the book it's clear she has the hots for Ryan and even fantasizes about receiving discipline at his hands.

Becky gasped when she realised they were at the park. The car stopped with a jolt and Ryan got out. She held her breath until her car door was flung open.
“Out, Becky.”
“Do as you’re told.” As she stood up beside him Ryan took her hand and pulled her over to a nearby picnic table.
 “Wait... what're you doing?” By the time the words were out of her mouth Becky knew exactly what he was doing. He lifted her short skirt and tucked it out of the way, then pulled the tiny panties down to her knees.  She tried to cover herself with her hands as she stood exposed in front of him, but he quickly pulled her over his knee.

“I’m teaching you the proper way to behave, young lady.”
 “No! Stop!” Ryan's hard hand landed in the centre of her wriggling bare bottom.   Becky panted silently as she got closer and closer to finding her release. The imagined feelings of Ryan’s hand slapping her upturned bottom became more real, and she could almost feel the denim of his jeans rubbing roughly against her naked flesh. Rhythmic spanks clapped against each bare cheek noisily as Becky yelped and pleaded for it to stop, all the while grinding herself against his leg. But Ryan just spanked harder and faster. He wasn't going to stop, not yet.   Her bottom pressed hard into the mattress as she worked her clit furiously.  She slid the nightgown over her head and set it at her side, and yanked her panties down and off.  Being naked in her bed with others in the room made her feel terribly naughty, but that only made the fantasy get better.   After a few more hard slaps the spanking stopped and Ryan pulled her up to stand in front of him. 

She started to pull her panties back up. “We aren’t done yet,” Ryan said firmly.  “You are going to learn to behave yourself, is that understood?”
 “Yes, but I...” she started to answer him.
“You will answer me properly when you are being scolded!” he commanded sharply. He spun her around and gave her another firm set of swats on her red and stinging bare bottom. “I’m going to try again.  You are going to learn to behave properly, is that understood?”
“Yes, sir, I’ll be a good girl,” she promised meekly. 

Submitting to him ---that was embarrassing, but oh sooo hot.

Here's another scene, later in the book when Becky gets the real thing.

“That's enough Becky,” he said.
 “Or what?” she asked standing up to leave.
“Or I might just be tempted to give you EXACTLY what you need.” Becky's face blushed red but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that she knew what he was talking about. Luckily he couldn't see the butterflies that were doing backflips in her belly.
“Oh and what would that be, to get rid of the black widow?” she asked smugly.
 “I said that's enough.”
 “I'll decide when it's enough!” she got up with the intention of going into the house.
“Where are you going? We're not finished here.”
“I'm going to ring my Dad and the home-wrecker and tell them exactly what I think of their marriage.”
“No, you're not,” Ryan said. “You need to calm down first before you say something that you'll regret.”
Becky poked out her tongue and tried to push past him. She was stopped in her tracks though when Ryan yanked her arm and toppled her over his knee. “Wait... stop...” Becky fought as hard as she could to get free but to no avail. One of Ryan's arms held her firmly in place as his large palm made sharp contact with the back of her frayed cut-offs.

 “Yeow!” she yelped. She didn't have time to process the pain before it was followed by another swat and then another. “Ow ow ow... Ryan stop!” she hissed. The only thing stopping her from kicking up a bigger fuss was that she didn't want any of the house staff to hear her cry. She would have died of embarrassment if anyone had seen her in such an undignified position.

Finally after a few more smacks Ryan released her and stood her in front of him. “Are you going to behave now? Leave your Dad in peace for a while?”

It's a fairly short description. Ms. Masters doesn't dwell on the mechanics of the actual spanking. She makes up for this by including multiple spanking scenes that emphasize the emotional side of the event as Ryan and Becky work through their conflict and their true feelings for each other begin to emerge. We don't know that much about Ryan except for what he says and does, which is all reported through the lens of Becky's perception. Here is one of the few glimpses we get of what Ryan is thinking.

Ryan smiled to himself. She was so cute trying to wind back her natural enthusiasm and make herself more grown up. It was so unnecessary. He wasn't that old himself. The fact that he seemed a little more mature than the average twenty three year old was down to circumstances. Losing his Dad at an early age had shot him to the rank of man of the house, a role he had always taken seriously.

So Becky is a spoiled brat and Ryan is a responsible caretaker. Becky hates being told what to do by Ryan but at the same time she is falling in love with him. To make sure that the feeling is mutual she decides to make him jealous and that tears it. Ryan strips her down to her birthday suit and...

“THIS is how you get spanked now.”
 Becky did her best to modestly cover herself, mentally wondering what the hell she'd gotten herself into.  Covering herself earned her a sharp spank on the bottom. 
“Hands at your sides,” Ryan told her firmly.  He made no secret of looking her naked body up and down.  “If you can show that much of yourself to other men, you can show everything to me.” Her nipples were erect to the point of throbbing, and her pussy was soaking wet.  Worse still, she could tell from the look in his eyes that he had noticed.  For today, though, he chose to say nothing about it.  He just made her stand there for another few moments, with everything on display for him. Finally, she was unceremoniously tipped over Ryan's knee, completely naked and extremely vulnerable. She made her mind up to try to keep her legs together so that she wouldn’t give Ryan a complete view of her private jewels, but that idea was short lived. After a half a dozen painful smacks she was clenching and unclenching, kicking her legs for all she was worth, and showing him everything between her legs and sometimes even the most private area between her bottom cheeks.

It's a short scene but very nicely done. Being inside Becky's head for most of the book, and especially during the spanking scenes, makes this one hot read. It's a good example of a very focused third person POV that puts the reader in the position of living through what Becky is experiencing and feeling. My only minor quibble goes back to the first scene in which Becky has a fantasy about being spanked by Ryan. It might have been more effective plot-wise if she'd been initially horrified by the idea, but then slowly discovered that it actually turned her on. But this is a minor quibble. This book is highly recommended. 


Constance Masters said...

Wow. You have made my day Rollin. I’m glad that you enjoyed it! Hight praise coming from you :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome review! Yet another book to add to my ever-growing TBR list. :)

Renee Rose said...

Great scenes, Constance and nice write up, Rollin!